As my career progresses, I'm frequently honored with awards and accolades. But whenever it's my turn to step up to the podium, I'm at a loss for what to say. Can you help?
Although the entertainment industry invented the awards ceremony, there are plenty of accolades to go around no matter what you do for a living. As a matter of fact, I sponsor my own awards ceremony, The Dickies, in recognition of celebrity pets and personal attendants. By honoring distinction in innumerable finely grained categories, I'm able to send each of my elegantly clad People home clutching a golden statuette of Dickie to put on a mantel or next to a little shrub in the yard.
Awards ceremonies are of course the apex of Western civilization. After all, we spend most of our time trying to get attention for who we are or what we do.
So when you finally get the credit you deserve for your fabulous accomplishments, give your audience what it wants in return: a good long look at your physical form, and a brief, humble, elegantly worded acceptance speech.
Standard American awards formulaic is as follows.
The real superstars add - or subtract - a few touches of their own.
As you prepare for the big night, follow this advice from a friend of mine who's a veteran of the jewelry industry: "No neckline too low. No stone too large."